The Sedona Diaries

11/27/2023

In life there are moments when you make a big commitment and then get so far in there is no going back.

You commit and recommit over and over again regardless of how terrified you are.

And if you are really good you convince those around you of your grand plan so well that when your will power starts waning you are quickly reminded by those you love that this is in fact a brilliant idea. 

The idea could be brilliant but could also be a crock of shit and you should actively seek a career in sales because of your powers of persuasion. 

This could be a terrible, awful idea, and be all your fault and the ground might part and swallow you up in the process but hey, maybe not. 

The fun part is that you don’t know until you get into something what it will actually be. I say fun but also consider words like, exciting, exhilarating, hopeful, full of possibility or anxiously awaiting the adventure of your life. The latter is how I choose to frame big moments that feel like I’m riding the edge. 

I’m writing this in the waiting and the prep work phase but I’m getting ahead of myself here, you have no idea what edge I’m riding. 

The first time I saw them I was blown away.

The 2 hours from Phoenix to Sedona starts with views of hills lined in Saguaro cactuses which after a few conversations with locals in the airport I find out are illegal to rustle. Rustling is stealing or killing this icon of the southwest and understandably so, if rustled you wouldn’t get the opportunity to see miles and miles of Saguaro’s and that would be a travesty, especially if you hail from places like me. 

I’m from a very flat place, a place often referred to as the plains, heart of America or my least favorite: fly over states. When you spend your formative years with rolling hills and lots of corn to see a cactus in real life feels like stepping onto a movie set.

We continue to drive and say farewell to our cactuses and await what we have been told about, the reason we are here, the magic of the red rocks. It’s just before sunset on the flat stretch of Highway 179, the Red Rock Scenic Byway when we get our first glimpse and I gasp.

I finally see them.

Rocks in all shapes straight up to the sky in shades of burnt orange, rust and peppered with shades of green vegetation as far as the eye can see. 

One of our many selfie stick photos from 2016, this is on Devils’s Bridge

There are places that make you question your eyesight, challenge what could possible be reality, Sedona is one of those places. She calls to you, and if you answer the call, you will lose your breath at her beauty.

It’s been almost 8 years since I first announced my place in her rocks but the feeling is so vivid I can remember how the cool winter air felt with the sun beating down, confusing and refreshing all at once, as we got out of the car to take a selfie next to the byway sign. (Not that cute and questionable fashion choice of a headband photo you see above, that gem is from Devil’s Bridge.)

I can remember how the light illuminated the rocks as if she had a spotlight on her. The sound of the earth crunching under my feet and the feeling of soft fine cut red sand. The red footprints on the floorboard that made me giggle when I got back in the car to make our way to our hotel. 

I remember all of it, even after all these years, I remember it felt like nothing else I have ever experienced. 

Since then my husband Michael and I have traveled as Ambitious Hippies to almost all 48 states in the continental United States, visited 31 places outside of the states and did it all in less than 7 years. In the past 5 years I have spent 1.2 years of my life in another city or country. In all of those trips we rarely go back to the same place twice. Want to know how many times we have come back to Sedona in those years of traveling?

10. 

Ten times we found our way back to Sedona. In the winter, in the summer, fall, over the holidays, in an RV, with friends, with dogs and a cat; we always came back even if it was just for a quick hello. 

In less than 3 weeks we will see her again and this time we will spend 106 days in Sedona. I have done everything in my power to organize my schedule, career, life and priorities to make this possible in my thirties. 

If you are asking yourself the question on how this was possible the answer is complicated and simple all at once. 

I had to unravel what it was I truly wanted and then fight like hell every single day to ignore societal norms, my programming, the noise of social media and talking heads on the internet and cling to that voice inside that I knew was my truth. 

I had to spend years chasing plastic trophies like Pac-Man to only find myself incredibly empty after years of feasting on external validation. 

I had to say goodbye to the previous versions of myself who craved the stability of relying on someone else for a paycheck and dig up the courage to believe that I could support myself and create the income what I wanted, how I wanted. I then had to make that choice again and again, every damn day, when on most days it felt like working for myself was not freedom but a 24/7 ball and chain following me around everywhere. 

I had invest in programs, courses and most importantly myself and my financial accounts even when the limited amount of money I had available would make my butthole tighten every time I swiped my credit card for another investment into my future self. 

I had to get comfortable with money, with selling things, and selling myself, and knowing that there was a possibility my ex-boyfriend from high school would watch my live or see my post.

I still showed up. 

Because there was something deep down inside of me that knew the value of time and how incredibly short this life is and if I don’t go for what I want right now, I might just miss it. 

And that regret was too heavy a load to carry. 

You might not want to spend an entire winter in a place, that could very well not be your dream.

But I can guarantee that you have something begging you to pay attention to it and asking you to move in the direction that gets you there sooner rather than later. 

I can also say I didn’t have the full map of where this whole process would lead me all those years ago.

Here’s how it started for me: how do I make the money I want and travel whenever and wherever I want?

Well that and the fact that every single winter I ask myself and my husband: Why do we live here again?

I’m fully aware that our ancestors came across on some trail and those that didn’t die of dysentery landed in the middle of America and thought it was beautiful and vast. But I can fucking guarantee it had to be have been in September or October on a perfect fall day when the leaves are in the full spectrum of red and orange and yellow lit up by the glowing sun.

Because if they saw us now in the deep of winter they would without a doubt say: “You idiots are still here? Why didn’t you keep going West?”

I was asked recently why? Why Sedona, why spend your winter as a snow bird, why go there when you won’t be escaping the snow….why? 

The only reason is because I have to, I have to answer the call.

And I really want to. 

I have no idea what will happen, who I meet, what experiences I will have that move me (or not), the food I will eat, the trails and land that await my quiet presence in their place but I’m willing to find out. 

Until Next Time. 

-Courtney

To get a better idea of my plan in Sedona here’s my bucket list created the day we committed to living in Sedona for the winter.